So...I have this problem. I seem to be getting better at writing the inbetween parts of stories--you know, like plot development, cutsie relationship scenes, and dialogue, but I feel like I flop when it comes to the things that are supposed to be awesome, like a first kiss, a physical confrontation, even a good argument. So now here's my issue: I'm trying to write a fight scene (you know: fist fight, maybe some knives, etc) and I feel like I'm not doing it justice at all, but I'm not sure how to improve it.
Here's my plea: for those of you who have read Diary and are familiar with it, give me a hand? Are my fight scenes a little drab? Slow? Boring? Colorless? Are they too detailed? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM?!?! erm...sorry. Think back to sparring matches between Sascha and Alex, and back to Sascha's fight with Trenchcoat. What do they lack?
Your input is so appreciated, it's ridiculous. Please leave a comment below!
-Jordan
*Edit* Because some of you took time to help me out, some (coughcoughValeriecough) even going so far as rereading parts of Diary, I'm putting up another teaser at the bottom of the "Diary" page on this blog. Thanks again!
Your fight scenes seem pretty okay, actually. I reread a few of them between Alex and Sascha, and also the one between Travis and Alex and I like them. They're not jam-packed full of details, but enough to make them sound good. I've read some fight scenes in some books where it seems like it goes on forever and ever. Yours' aren't like that. Basically your fights are well-written, but at the same time aren't the hightlights of the story. I can remember them, but they aren't the main thing I think about when I think about the Diary. If you personally don't feel comfortable with them and feel they need work you can try reading books that are notable for their fighting. Personally, though, I think they're good the way they're written.
ReplyDeleteValerie
I think a good piece of general advice (one I try to use, 'try' being an operative word), is not to let fight scenes become too play-by-play. "Sascha stabbed left. The guy dodges. She ducks sideways. Etc." Make the sentences longer and fluid, so that it feels like it's a constant, almost frantic motion, because that's how fights are. You can put in some snippets of how the character is feeling as they fight, but maybe not too many, or make them short and logical, like someone fighting would be thinking. Or alternately, you can make it very disjointed, almost stream-of-consciousness. The fact that you're narrating in diary format makes a difference though, because Sascha is looking back on an event and thus she probably can't remember in snapshot detail how every move of the fight went. She also probably doesn't have the same emotion pulsing through her as she did during the fight; she's more calm and detached in the aftermath, she can think clearly. So I think it would be allowed if some parts of the fight were "blurred" in her memory, and other parts are crystal clear. I think that's how memories formed under stress and emotion work.
ReplyDeleteHope some of that is helpful :P Just let Sascha tell you about it the way it happened that she can remember.
--Victoria